If you ever happen to make someone uncomfortable with pushy actions, they'd most likely make use of their Block list, or if they are kinder, they'd simply put a "little red flag" in their head and avoid you from then on. I assure you that most people will put your username in their block list and let it sit there for a while. Or even permanently, because some people get really upset from this kind of behavior. So be mindful of how you communicate!
Maybe when we were little kids, we could make friends just by asking or by being cute or having something that someone else wanted (Remember "I'll be your best friend if you give me that!" ?) but that is not how friendships are formed here. We're all big kids now- and there are boundaries here that are not meant to be crossed without the proper permissions.
Here are some tips to make friends with most people.
1. Common interests. These always bring people together, it gives something to talk about. For example, my favorite music, video games, or animals may also be in your favorites, and we could talk about those. But just because you share interests doesn't mean that it automatically makes you a friend. You just have to talk about it at the right time. Which brings me to the next point:
2. Tact. Even if you have good intentions, no one wants to see tons of messages, +fav-bombs, and notes from one random person. Have a little finesse and calm yourself down. Spamming every crevice with nonstop attention will make almost anyone feel as if you are kissing up to them. Remember, quality over quantity. Instead of rushing to comment on everything they make with one word comments like "cute", actually stop and look at something. Think about it, study it for a bit. And leave a nice detailed comment on what you specifically like about it. I assure you that those special comments we get on here stand out and stay with us for a while. Cookie-cutter comments, even in large volume, remain as a nice gesture... but helpful, time-taking comments are certainly seen as a sentiment. Don't ever copy-and-paste comments to people. Even with edits, they are just not as profound as leaving a meaningful, unique comment.
The concept of needing tact also applies to being overly hyper, excited, paranoid, depressive, etc. in your comments or other messages and communication with someone. While these are common and normal human feelings (in moderation), doing them often before you know/befriend someone may make you seem as an unstable individual (which most people try to stay away from!).
Avoid putting yourself down in an attempt to compliment someone else, ie. "Wow your work is amazing, I'll never be as good as you" as this tends to force others to feel guilty. Putting yourself down lessens the compliment and turns it into some seemingly passive-aggressive request for an apology or as if you're fishing for compliments. What ends up happening is both people feeling bad, so just don't do it. Be genuine and don't mention or compare yourself!
Inversely, spazzing out can also seen as a bad thing, ie. "OMFG LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL ART AAHDSHG SO INCREDIBLE YOUR SKILLS ARE AMAZING" BUT, it depends on the person. Some people enjoy this high-strung commenting all the time, and some don't. Some only do it with close friends. Pay attention to what the person seems to be comfortable with. Simply calm down and be yourself. Constant over-zealousness and excessive enthusiasm can sometimes make you appear to be annoying, obnoxious, or obsessive. And you definitely don't want that!
3. Respecting boundaries. There is a fine line difference between being genuinely friendly/caring, and prying into personal stuff you're not supposed to be in. Be kind and considerate of others' situations, but don't try to get more information than someone is willing to share.
Example- random watcher sends this note:
"Hi, I just wanted to check up on you, you seemed to be down after that last vent drawing you made. I hope you're ok, please feel better soon! Here's a hug "
-This is a nice message, and doesn't pry into business that isn't theirs. If I received a message like this, I would think, "Wow, what a thoughtful person." And I would respect them for respecting my boundaries. I personally would probably thank them later when I was feeling better. Maybe even with a drawing.
"Omg I saw your vent art! What happened??? Who would even do that to someone like you? I'd totally go flame them for you if you want! People are just so mean, I really know how you feel!"
-This message bothers me because it's prying by asking (rudely, mind you) what is wrong, also a call to action that they don't even understand, AND they're saying they can empathize, even though they know nothing of the situation. I would not reply to this message, and most likely see the sender as an obnoxious or immature person.
Another thing to mention about boundaries is roleplaying
. You know, that little *hugs you*
or -waves hello-
thing that some people do. Often times, it is seen as a cute or friendly gesture. But, some people are made uncomfortable by it, so always make sure that someone is all right with it before doing so. You most likely wouldn't hug or nuzzle a random person you pass by on the street, so be thoughtful in how you do it here. Chances are it's fine in moderation. The same can be said for excessive use of emoticons like
4. Sheer luck. You don't become friends intentionally most of the time, you just talk and learn things about each other until you learn so much and enjoy their company so much you consider them a friend and they you. It just happens unconsciously, you can't force it along. And, by trying to force it, usually you never become a friend with them- because they'll remember how you've acted and it will basically be a friendship "turn-off" ingrained in their mind about you... possibly even making them avoid you indefinitely.
5. There's so many more things! Friendship comes naturally, by being yourself! And if you're not making friends like you want, then have you ever thought that you're being the problem? Some people just don't "click", and they never will. If this happens, you must accept it and move on. Don't try and force things with people who clearly don't want anything to do with you. It stinks, but you have to respect it.
This has been a public service announcement from Amber. Have a wonderful day!